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Distant or Up Close...

I'm trying on new masks to cover my heart but the transition of me from being open and close to people to being distant is taking the best of me.. everything I do seems wrong.. I've hurt people in my path, potential good friends have shutted themselves coz of my stupidity.. someone has even told me right in the face that the main reason why I want to talk to older people is because I'm too immature for my age :( ...there were even questions of "If you don't trust someone, then how can you trust yourself?" :( na I am a person with so many standards daw.. and one needs to prove himself worthy in order to be my friend :(

I know those personal attacks were not meant to hurt me, I know they were out of frustration on their part.. and yet I didn't have the guts or capability to explain my side..

...I'm just afraid to hurt again.. by being distant, by building a wall around my heart, by not wanting to show myself too quickly.. I would be able to choose those whom I can trust.. I would be able to know my acquaintances more and more.. and by this, I'll be able to avoid being rejected thus avoiding possible hurts in case the person would not be willing to take some risks of knowing me more..

Hayy.. I know it's selfish.. but who else will protect my heart but me? :(

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