It's up to my wife....

"It's up to my wife.."

A student told me today when I asked them to present in class their future plans. I honestly was taken aback by his response. He wasn't the type of who would let someone decide for him. But there he was telling me this.

Somehow, I wasn't sure that his declaration was for real. When I asked him if the decision to get married was his, he simply said, "I don't have a choice."
I wonder. If I were the fiance and I heard all these, how would it feel like?

On the other hand, will men really dodge the bullets of marriage if they could? Why so? Is marriage only for the weak? I hope not.

Losing the battle.

I have lost the battle of love. Time and time again, I go back to the same spot. But this time, my battle scars are far from healing. Moping doesn't help in this line. Neither is self-pity.

I don't know what I am to gain from all these but I'd like to think of it as a very important milestone of my life. That I, at the age of 30, finally decided to face the music instead of collecting scraps of love.

I know it's a bit late for some, but as my old friend Sir Jake told me: "Think of it as a 5-year Thesis." I never saw a thesis that could make someone cry like this before! Haha.. Therefore, I'd rather think of it as an experience.

I have loved and I have lost.

Whatever the moral of the whole thing is, I have yet to find out.

Have you ever given up on love?

I had to pleasure of reviewing what I've written over a month ago at a forum I belonged to. It's really odd to find out that you do have a writer's ability - you just haven't noticed it yet.

Here's my take on the topic - Have you ever given up on love

Humanity's weakness is not knowing what would happen next. Nobody could really tell if you're wrong for each other or if you've found the 'right' one for you.

I could remember way back in high school, we were said to the be 'good friends' so we tried to break-up our dear friend with her boyfriend because he was 'bad company', years after - they're still together and finally getting married. So, were we wrong for trying to break them up?

Similarly, there also came a point in my life where my mom and I tried to keep the relationship of one of my brothers together. Advised him to not leaving her, her to being more patient, etc. They ended up marrying other people. So, was it our fault we felt their love was so true?

I don't think we could ever know what's right for ourselves or for someone. Which is why, after several years with the same love. Regardless the problems and the joys that come our way, I never expect anymore. I have given up to 'planning too much' to 'thinking too much' to being 'paranoid of him finding someone else'. But I have never given up to praying that God will show us both the way. I have given God the authority to tell us if we're for each other or not.

It's simple that way. I need not think too much to becoming overly attached. If he must go, then I can't do anything but to let him go. He knows how much I love him so if he still would like to leave - then it's his choice.

I've given up to immature love. But I'm never giving up to forever - who he may be.

Finance Series: Buying or Renting a Home

Most of us are faced with the decision on whether to rent a house is better than buying one. Aside from pricing and affordability as a factor to help make us decide, there are different factors too that we should think about.

1. Environment - Remember that the city home may be quiet expensive as compared to the suburbs. The suburbs would give you a lot of fresh air as compared to the city but travel time would be costlier if you live farther from your work. So, which of environment do you best fit in? Do you like the noisy and upbeat feeling of busy streets and people rushing? or do you like the slow-paced life of the suburbs?If you can afford only those properties in environments that do not fit your preferences, you need to think about whether you are willing to forgo these preferences for the sake of owning a place.

2. Amenities versus Customization - There are those who's like to start from scratch with regards their home. They like decorating, they like buying stuff. On the other hand there are those who'd like it plain and simple. They'd like things furnished and ready-to-use. Dollar for dollar, renting generally offers a substantially greater number and variety of amenities than buying. Consider, for example, the number of homes that come with an Olympic-sized swimming pool, clubhouse, tennis courts, basketball court and on-site gym. If you’re looking to have these amenities in your private residence, get ready to spend a lot of money. Upscale apartment buildings, found in nearly every city, offer such options at a comparatively lower monthly rent than a mortgage for a property with the same attributes. On the other side of coin, there are affordable homes with private outdoor spaces that you can customize to your liking. There aren’t many apartment buildings that come with acres of property in the country that will let you do your own landscaping, keep horses or grow a garden.

3. Flexibility versus Stability - Remember that when you rent and need to leave to another city, you could just end the contract, pack everything up and send it to the next home. On the other hand, people who own residents need to go through selling the home, papers, deeds, etc.

4. Personalized Aesthetics versus Less Work - Buying a home gives you the freedom to design your own house, from the living room to the bedroom to the steps of the stairs etc. While renting will show you an already finished house ready to be moved into, no more repairs, renovation or anything. Well, if there would be renovation it wouldn't be more than when you own the place.

5. Emotional Satisfaction versus Less Worry - There’s just something emotionally appealing about putting down roots, getting involved in the community and having a place to call your own. Of course, homeowners also need to worry about the long-term character of the neighborhood and keep up with maintenance in order to sustain property values. If you’re simply looking for a place to rest between days at work and nights hitting the town, renting may be the perfect answer. Just keep paying the rent and let somebody else do all the worrying.

6. A Personal Decision - There will always be a time in your life when you wish to have your own home. The sentimental value of living something for your family will always be something you'd think about. Most especially if you're almost due for retirement and you'd like to see what have you done so far. On the other hand, there are just people who see having a home as a hindrance, mostly those who aren't home buddies and would just rather spend the rest of their old age in homes. But regardless the decision, it will always be your own.

I'm sorry if it's rather long, but I think the topic is vital for all of us out there still confused over buying a home or renting.

What do you think? Should you buy a home or rent it? Based on your personal needs and decisions right now.

Few days to go..

I know it's pretty much taboo to discuss about one's age, but I am worried. Honestly, for the first time in my life, I have realized that I'm no longer 16. I was reminded when I found a wrinkle near my left-eye, it isn't that obvious yet, but it's well there.

Now, a few days to go and it'll be official. With all the stories of family, weddings, and special dates (not to mention worrying for a friend), I am worried for myself.

Worried that I may never get to do something worth a big WOW. Worrying that I'll forever be the hopeless romantic who even cries for the movie The Princess and the Frog. Sheez, tell me about it. I thought I'm done with the drama, but the Disney Fairy Tales prove it's still there. Haha!

Anyhow, I know I will get through this in one piece. I just really hope I won't be able to show my disappointment when he forgets.