Distant or Up Close...

I'm trying on new masks to cover my heart but the transition of me from being open and close to people to being distant is taking the best of me.. everything I do seems wrong.. I've hurt people in my path, potential good friends have shutted themselves coz of my stupidity.. someone has even told me right in the face that the main reason why I want to talk to older people is because I'm too immature for my age :( ...there were even questions of "If you don't trust someone, then how can you trust yourself?" :( na I am a person with so many standards daw.. and one needs to prove himself worthy in order to be my friend :(

I know those personal attacks were not meant to hurt me, I know they were out of frustration on their part.. and yet I didn't have the guts or capability to explain my side..

...I'm just afraid to hurt again.. by being distant, by building a wall around my heart, by not wanting to show myself too quickly.. I would be able to choose those whom I can trust.. I would be able to know my acquaintances more and more.. and by this, I'll be able to avoid being rejected thus avoiding possible hurts in case the person would not be willing to take some risks of knowing me more..

Hayy.. I know it's selfish.. but who else will protect my heart but me? :(

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cute pix

a nice photo of a boquet of flowers i'd like to have if ever i got married.. naykz.. hahahahah... wala gud palusot lang.. ibutang man gud nako sa friendster then naa limit sa sizes na pwede i-upload sa photobucket.. so im trying it here hhahahaha... hope this works..

Today I realize he's gone and I can't do anything about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what people might think as of the moment, majority would say "what?! you're still at it after months?" "tanga tanga mo naman.. tagal mong ma-over!" "It's your fault, iniisip mo kasi always" blah blah blah... but hey, I did not wish for this to happen, neither did I intend for it to linger on for a long time. It is not easy to find a love, but it's more difficult to lose a love. All day today, I was thinking of WHY?!.. went to a Harry Potter movie with my family but thoughts kept coming in my mind.. sa car pa lang I was blaming myself and even my brothers for what was happening to me (It's my fault I am far, it's my brother's fault kung di lang sana nila pinagpalit mga gf nila!, it's my grandfather's fault if he hadn't cheated!).. I'm so horrid, blaming others for the things that are happening to me. But then, I realized how go...

the classic

i wasn't doing anything or couldn't do anything at all due to the arrival of my long-time visitor ~ my menses. hahaha... so i opted to go for the jkdrama online thru a website the features full-length korean drama teleseries and movies.. at one point i got in touch with a very emotional film, it's the so-called mother film of most of the korean films i came to know like windstruck and my sassy girl... it's entitled 'the classic'. i'm not here to talk about the movie, since most information can easily by gathered over the net.. what i'm here to talk about is the face in the movie... take a look at these who does these pictures remind u of?! if it doesn't remind you of anyone.. well... i am reminded of a certain past.. whew...! his name is cho seung woo... go figure.

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