Distant or Up Close...

I'm trying on new masks to cover my heart but the transition of me from being open and close to people to being distant is taking the best of me.. everything I do seems wrong.. I've hurt people in my path, potential good friends have shutted themselves coz of my stupidity.. someone has even told me right in the face that the main reason why I want to talk to older people is because I'm too immature for my age :( ...there were even questions of "If you don't trust someone, then how can you trust yourself?" :( na I am a person with so many standards daw.. and one needs to prove himself worthy in order to be my friend :(

I know those personal attacks were not meant to hurt me, I know they were out of frustration on their part.. and yet I didn't have the guts or capability to explain my side..

...I'm just afraid to hurt again.. by being distant, by building a wall around my heart, by not wanting to show myself too quickly.. I would be able to choose those whom I can trust.. I would be able to know my acquaintances more and more.. and by this, I'll be able to avoid being rejected thus avoiding possible hurts in case the person would not be willing to take some risks of knowing me more..

Hayy.. I know it's selfish.. but who else will protect my heart but me? :(

Comments

Translations

Words are oftentimes mis-used or even mistranslated when you over-translate them. It even loses it's meaning and may come out funny. One classic example would be TOOTHPASTE. I'm particularly interested in this word (or noun) because it doesn't have a translation in Filipino or in our dialect. Well, for those who know what the words are then please correct me :) I came across this topic in a skype group the other day, we were chatting our hearts out with people from around the world (well most are Filipinos but in different countries) then one person blurted " so ano ang tagalog sa toothpaste? " Everyone kept silent then someone suddenly blurted " joke ba yan? " then most chorused " COLGATE! "... much to my demise, I realized, I didn't know what the tagalog word is for Toothpaste, yet alone know the bisaya term for it. So, I researched online but nothing. Then started texting my friends (Globe lang coz free txt ako sa globe hehhehe) then pe...

Heart Torn Into Pieces ..

How should one feel after a love? uh me? I can't answer that for I've never really experience it yet... 'Til now.. Allowing someone in your life has two sides as person would always have 2 sides, just like a coin. It's either your lives be forever (?) at bliss or it would end up like how most relationship end - in bitter sorrow... I got my fair share of bitterness all my life and now am sad to say am on it's path once again. Fallen and loved someone who after a wink decides to change the table menu. Yeah it's painful, it feels like your heart being torn literally apart and all one can hear is the deafening silence of what used to be a gleeful heartbeat.. I thought I had forgotten how rotten it feels like but I guess I've accustomed myself to the feeling all the while. I've always wondered why there were sad songs when love when found is so pure and happy.. now I know why some people settle for the desperate and suicidal songs of despair.. the songs where...

Laydee learns to cook..

Hi, I've been cooking once in a while, but to this date I haven't really been learning how to. Everyone in my family and relatives know how 'great' my baked spaghetti is heheheh.. Kabaga ug nawong uy! Anyhow, I'm not trying to learn from online sources and have cooked 2 dishes for breakfast and 1 dessert this week. I just forgot to take photos on one of them, sadly. Anyhow.. here's the Recipe and photos of each for those chef wannabees, like me... ___________________________________________________________________________ PORK CHINESE – STYLE (Asadong Baboy) 6 Servings Ingredients: 2 Pounds / 0.91 Kilo Pork Loin 1/3 Cup Brown Sugar 2 Tbsp. finely minced garlic Marinade: 1 Cup Water 2 Tbsps. White wine 1/3 Cup Soy Sauce ½ Tsp. salt Marinate the whole pork loin for 30 minutes or more in a large pot. Cover the pot and bring mixture to a boil. Lower heat and simmer until meat is tender (about 30 minutes). Serve hot with the ma...

Fingerprints

Search This Blog