Fingerprints

i, me, and myself 

Routines... never really got them until recently. Been accustomed most of the time for 'surprise attacks' and other unplanned situations but truly this time, I need them. Just talked to an online friend, sought advice about what to do - actually sought someone to just talk to. I know there are a lot of advices I can get from people I know, but this time I need someone who knows how to listen.. He does. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you, I do not give as the world give, do not be afraid do not let your heart be troubled - John 14:27 He reminded me of the above passage, and it brought me some comfort. Gosh, I truly can't live without talking to someone.. hahay.. my greatest weakness in life. Anyways, he's right, it's my decision.. No matter what advices people would give, it's up to me to decide what's best for me.. if only my heart cooperates. Pero tama.. it's not time for loving no more.. martrydom has it's place in luneta.. sa firing sq...

Just finished an all-time favorite movie of mine "Shakespeare In Love" nakz.. It's breathtakingly funny how one relates to these love stories, I feel as if I can 'relate' ... hehe.. Well for this one, it's a Tragedy.. but it amazes me how people could have the skill and creativity to write these stories.. same with love songs.. I often wonder... 'what were they thinking?' while creating these masterpieces.. As the story suggests.. shakespeare was in love during the time while making the Play Romeon and Juliet ... oh well I forgot my literature class whether or not it was true (na inlove siya that time) hehe.. but the story suggests that he was and that it was a love that was never to be. If the play were true the question that "if ever you were in their shoes and you know it's not meant to be, would you have allowed love?" A strong "YES" could be heard if hopeless romantics are asked.. and so would I... before. But now.. I don...

How You Are In Love You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. How Are You In Love?

Last Oct. 19 was dad's 52nd birthday.. it was raining very hard pero hmm.. dumating parin naman lahat ng tao.. hehe.. it was so specially prepaired and everyone enjoyed.. sayang I didn't get to take some pix.. mejo busy kasi eh.. I got drunk that night.. hehe Yesterday, we attended a simple wedding at the Garden City of Samal (it's another island 5mins by ferry boat from Davao City) afterwhich, decided to go for overnight stay sa isang resort there.. now I'm sun burnt! Furthermore, I got to talk to someone just a few minutes ago.. I was asking him about men's behaviour (nakz).. the thought just got me, about men and their 'palusot' of 'not deserving you and not being able to give you what u deserve' tone.. and i had him distinguish the 'fake' and the 'real' but i guess it boils down to one thing.. love can't be forced. Ah I almost forgot, wasn't doing anything this afternoon so I decided to go over my friendster list.. It cer...

I just spent the whole day sleeping! oh yeah.. NOT because I was sick or anything.. just because I felt sooo lonely... Yeah psychiatrists would certainly think I'm one of those people who have this disorder.. maybe I do.. but I doubt.. this is just a simple case of heartache.. yeah yeah yeah.. I know the word has been in the air for the longest time now, but then I realize it's out of our control.. No matter how 'strong' I would act, it boils down to one thing "Emotional things just bugs me down." And admittedly. I don't know how else to cope with it than by sleeping. Hey, I didn't cry.. nor did I mope.. I just plainly slept without feeling rejuvinated the next hour. Oh, maybe my heart just grew too tired to think and just wanted rest. Anyways, tonight just before goin to bed had helped out cleaning and waxing the floor of the groundfloor of our house, for Dad's big day tomorrow.. I was literally using my hands to wax (yeah this lady knows how t...

Today is hopefully a great day.. :) Starting my monday right with thinking more positively.. Had a very nice txting conversation last night and I but wonder, "how come things feel so good after a nice conversation?" hehe.. maybe because it's who I am.. Can't put into words how light I feel today but I'm hoping it'll last the whole week thru. Feeling God's love surely is the best ever. :)

I may be naive about things in life specially those concerning the emotional side but somehow I have an attitude na I always push things to the limit. I'm the type who tries to go beyond the norm of society but I guess this time I have to yield in. I've always thought na even if 'Ex' mo na ang someone.. everyone started out as 'friends' so it must end as 'friends' as well. Now that I'm in the situation, hirap pala talaga.. it ain't easy to say 'hi, musta?' to someone you shared your heart with without thinking if he feels the same still. It's difficult to accept the at one point in time you were the one who filled his heart but now there's someone else. Even the thought that he's enjoying talking to her now tortures my mind and heart. But there's an end to everything. No matter how much one desires to hold on to a love.. Once it's past, it's past. I may be hurting a lot now, but nobody knows how much but my hea...

Whew... life has many difficulties talaga noh? am still awake.. simply because hay.. same old problem.. yoko na pag-usapan.. DON'T PROBLEM THE PROBLEM UNLESS YOUR PROBLEM IS YOUR FACE! hahahha... tawa na lang maski walay kataw-anan.. sus

october 6th... my supposedly 4th monthsary.. supposedly.. hehe 

Major meltdown last night.. wanted to get even with someone.. wanted to post her number online.. sa lahat ng chatroom and even porn sites! hmm.. sama ko talaga noh? but hay.. as my friend told me last night "Don't sink into her level!" hay this is all making me look 'worn out' like a doormat.. aaaarrrgghhhh....! a friend was kind enough to tell me to 'hang on' and 'don't lose it'.. siguro natatawa na siya sa ka-dramahan ko... he even sent me a nice story.. here it goes : MY ATTORNEY After living what I felt was a "decent" life, my time on earth came to the end. The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what I thought to be a court house. The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table. As I looked around I saw the "prosecutor." He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me He definitely was the most evil person I ...

Pissing off at someone is such an easy thing to release for most people but not for me.. why is it that it's always me who has to let go?!! Was caught up in a crossfire between 2 lovers (my ex and his current) what the!? I know exactly what you're thinking... and it puzzles me a lot too.. But the issue is.. as always it's me who has to let go.. funny as it may seem, this has always been the predicament eversince.. no one ever fights for me.. it's me who always loses.. and alas this time! to keep her insecurity off my back, I told her I'm pregnant and am getting married soon! oh yeah right! even thought of a name for the 'father'... CHITO.. sheez.. now I'm in the market for a new globe sim.. hahahay.. after years and years and years.. now I need to change sims na.. and all because of LOVE.. whew... how I wish I never have fallen.. how I wish I never met the guy.. how I wish I stuck deeply infatuated with the Canada-guy who thought of me as his little sis...

me.. 

fun pix 10-05-05 

fun pix 10-05-05 

with my current situation right now, i came across an old friend whom i've spent much time 'analyzing' my emotional side.. hehe.. after the 'kumustas' and 'hellos' he firmly asked "how's the lovelife?" ... and i can't help but laugh at myself right now sa mga nasagot ko that time.. i was so passionate to tell him my heartaches and everything afterwhich he just answered with "ah oki" hehehe.. pero a thought struck me a lot with the conversation.. he says "You truly are young in everything pa!" was actually taken aback with the remark 'coz i always thought i was getting too old! but later realized im young pala talaga.. he continued the thought by saying "when you get to my age and experience, you tend not to see things that way.." "u tend to understand more and let things be..." in bisaya he said.. "ikaw problema nimo is puro lang love love ba.. ang ubang tawo (as in with cebuano accent) nam...

I've never really 'faced' the problem just yet, all I've been doing is 'avoiding'.. but just this week I truly did.. but I guess siguro I faced it with anger and people may think I'm over it but I guess I'm not. :( I came across today a thread sa tsinoy it was asking the questions 'san ang mas masakit' wherein there were two photos.. one of which is magkasama ang babae at lalake with a friend (lalake) tapos the girl may have her arm around the guy.. but the girl is holding another guys hand.. and the other one the same the girl has her arm over the guy.. but the guy is holding another man's hand! Yeah a funny thought.. but now it isn't too funny for me anymore.. when I thought about it more, I realized both the photos do hurt a lot.. but what truly hurts deeper, like a dagger straight to ur heart is when the person you truly loved would tell you straight na he loves someone else and was just waiting for the right moment to break it to y...