Fingerprints

I'm trying on new masks to cover my heart but the transition of me from being open and close to people to being distant is taking the best of me.. everything I do seems wrong.. I've hurt people in my path, potential good friends have shutted themselves coz of my stupidity.. someone has even told me right in the face that the main reason why I want to talk to older people is because I'm too immature for my age :( ...there were even questions of "If you don't trust someone, then how can you trust yourself?" :( na I am a person with so many standards daw.. and one needs to prove himself worthy in order to be my friend :( I know those personal attacks were not meant to hurt me, I know they were out of frustration on their part.. and yet I didn't have the guts or capability to explain my side.. ...I'm just afraid to hurt again.. by being distant, by building a wall around my heart, by not wanting to show myself too quickly.. I would be able to choose those ...

Beautiful Girl Jose Mari Chan Beautiful Girl Wherever you are I knew when I saw you You had opened the door I knew that I;d love again After a long, long while I'd love again you said "hello" and I turned to gold But something in your eyes Left my heart beating so I knew that I'd love again After a long, long while I'd love again It was destiny's game For when love finally came on I rushed in line Only to find That you were gone Wherever you are I fear that I might have lost you forever Like a song in the night Now that I've loved again after a long, long while I've loved again Beautiful girl I'll search on for you Till all of your loveliness In my arms come true you've made me love again After a long, long while In love again And I'm glad that it's you Hmmm... Beautiful girl http://www.brainshare.com.ph/lyrics/Jose%20Mari%20Chan/beautiful%20girl.htm Ala lang.. nice ang song.. one of the songs that touches my heart.. sometimes kelangan ...

laydee and memum 

taken from Landco bldg 14th floor.. part of davao city.. 

just for fun... pa-cute sa bed nila mom and dad 

memum.. in mcdo.. hehehe 

Today is Sunday.. this morning I went to Carmelite with mom and several other friends.. we attended this sharing on the Order of Carmelite.. it was a simple invitation of how to live a life in God even if you're not part of the religious life (priests, nuns).. it was quite fun, we've learnt a lot and I have realized na you don't really need to become a nun in order to serve God.. even in simple day-to-day life pala you can.. was motivated today to live my life.. as in. What struck me today was the fact that.. in God pala there's no such thing as Depression, Worry, and Fear.. well.. I have been depressed lately.. and there was a kind of 'emptiness' but I realized na maybe I just didn't have enough faith in God lang.. coz thru God there is hope.. so now I'll start being more positive not only in the outside but on the indside as well.. another was on Love.. nakz.. love na naman.. but no seriously, the talk this morning made my heart feel a little lighter.....

hehe.. it's late.. im still in the office.. just finished world telecon of builders all over the world.. it's full of insights.. ang reklamo lang is that it starts late 1am.. then ends so alanganin 3am.. so how am i supposed to go home safely? hehe.. so instead what we do is we stay sa office until the sun rises para at least safer .. and since i can't sleep coz il have headaches.. i stay awake! hehehe. .whew!!!!

Just found out a friend lied to me.. why do people need to lie? It really makes me sad to see na the people I trust had been lying all along.. I'm not saying I'm perfect, no I'm not.. but when it comes to honesty, I may lie but after a little while I would admit my mistake.. sheez.. been asking this person over and over but kept on denying.. now it's clear, I saw it from my own two eyes, in black and white.. no one truly deserves to be trusted na ata.. it's sad.. I'm really disappointed bigtime. :-(

hmm.. i just came home from singles night out kanina.. mga friends ko sa office kasama ko.. halos lahat single (or ung mga bf eh not in the area).. lovapalooza of close up (million kisses) record is tonight, and we were just wondering how would it feel like to be goin there with someone instead of just thinking about how it would feel.. nakz.. i wasn't really sour-graping or anything but a thought came into my mind lang.. actually am happy for being single this time kasi i dont think im ready for one yet, i still have my childish ways na kaawa-awa ata ang mag-adjust sa akin.. hehe.. we were discussing how time changed us for the better and i told them na baka ganun na nga..habang tumatagal, we're becoming better people and more mature.. im not saying na immature yung mga may bf ngayon but what im saying is maybe we're not ready yet.. =) and slowly i see myself kasi getting more mature at things.. so maybe God is just preparing me pa and my partner pa diba.. so that when our...

Couldn't believe i'd ever have a chance to feel this way again.. hehhe.. for the first time in months.. i can truly say im genuinely happy.. I have always thought that happiness could only happen when all my heart's desires are met, but I stand corrected.. indeed Happiness is within.. nakz Yeah been sick lately, but maybe it was not just the usual 'sickness' of the health world.. but i guess it was beyond, maybe it was all the accumulation of past hurts and insecurities and of course the virus of sickness.. Sounds corny but I did feel less of a person these past few months.. No one really saw I was wearing the mask of smiles but deep inside I was struggling.. questions of How? Why? What If? surrounded my whole being, specially towards going to sleep.. gone to a point of even questioning my decision-making capabilities and even my worth as a person.. (deep noh?) hehe... haha.. sounds so serious ey?! I know it would come to a shock when one finds out the rea...

i think it's because of the weather.. or simply maybe something's wrong with my system.. I hope not. i have colds and flu plus sore throat na naman.. hahayy.. wasn't able to do what i was supposed to do today, i was forced to stay home.. or worst.. in bed the whole day.