:( What's Happening to Me? :(

Frustration and depression has taken the best of me today.. It all started with the cramps I've been feeling the whole night last night which lasted til I woke up at 4am.. all throughout the day I felt like in labor (as if na-try na noh? hehe) had the check-up sa OB-Gyne kanina and whew.. it was normal for me.. but she fears I have the pattern of someone who's got Endometrial Cancer - uh-oh.. pattern pa lang.. so don't be alarmed.. so now I'm into more treatment.. hayy.. she says usually lumalabas late 30's.. so thank God I'm still 24 eh?

Oh well..

I just don't get my system thesedays.. I get hyper active.. then hyper lazy.. then hyper happy.. now, nothing could ever make me smile.. hahayy...

They were even joking around na I should look for someone to impregnate me ASAP! but that doesn't just happen.. and I started asking myself.. Will I still have someone who'll truly love me if this thing would not heal? I've got so many What If's, I don't want to think about it..

May joke din about the expenses my parents have been paying for all my medications.. whew.. It'll surely make my potential mate run for his life.. hay.. hehehe...

Haven't been helpful that much sa house work.. neither have I been helpful sa finances.. hay.. I truly feel so useless.. and now this.. but amidst all of these.. My parents/family do love me, no questions asked.. and I'm glad I got them..

I guess I should be contented to be truly happy.. I just can't figure myself out, why I want so much to have someone to love me pa.. funny but I get teary-eyed seeing couples.. I'm not like this! .......

I should stop imagining things na.. and appreciate what I got.

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cute pix

a nice photo of a boquet of flowers i'd like to have if ever i got married.. naykz.. hahahahah... wala gud palusot lang.. ibutang man gud nako sa friendster then naa limit sa sizes na pwede i-upload sa photobucket.. so im trying it here hhahahaha... hope this works..

Today I realize he's gone and I can't do anything about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what people might think as of the moment, majority would say "what?! you're still at it after months?" "tanga tanga mo naman.. tagal mong ma-over!" "It's your fault, iniisip mo kasi always" blah blah blah... but hey, I did not wish for this to happen, neither did I intend for it to linger on for a long time. It is not easy to find a love, but it's more difficult to lose a love. All day today, I was thinking of WHY?!.. went to a Harry Potter movie with my family but thoughts kept coming in my mind.. sa car pa lang I was blaming myself and even my brothers for what was happening to me (It's my fault I am far, it's my brother's fault kung di lang sana nila pinagpalit mga gf nila!, it's my grandfather's fault if he hadn't cheated!).. I'm so horrid, blaming others for the things that are happening to me. But then, I realized how go...

the classic

i wasn't doing anything or couldn't do anything at all due to the arrival of my long-time visitor ~ my menses. hahaha... so i opted to go for the jkdrama online thru a website the features full-length korean drama teleseries and movies.. at one point i got in touch with a very emotional film, it's the so-called mother film of most of the korean films i came to know like windstruck and my sassy girl... it's entitled 'the classic'. i'm not here to talk about the movie, since most information can easily by gathered over the net.. what i'm here to talk about is the face in the movie... take a look at these who does these pictures remind u of?! if it doesn't remind you of anyone.. well... i am reminded of a certain past.. whew...! his name is cho seung woo... go figure.

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