Today I realize he's gone and I can't do anything about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what people might think as of the moment, majority would say "what?! you're still at it after months?" "tanga tanga mo naman.. tagal mong ma-over!" "It's your fault, iniisip mo kasi always" blah blah blah... but hey, I did not wish for this to happen, neither did I intend for it to linger on for a long time.
It is not easy to find a love, but it's more difficult to lose a love. All day today, I was thinking of WHY?!.. went to a Harry Potter movie with my family but thoughts kept coming in my mind.. sa car pa lang I was blaming myself and even my brothers for what was happening to me (It's my fault I am far, it's my brother's fault kung di lang sana nila pinagpalit mga gf nila!, it's my grandfather's fault if he hadn't cheated!).. I'm so horrid, blaming others for the things that are happening to me. But then, I realized how good the Lord had been to me. As I was in the Thanksgiving celebration of my tito totoy, I realized I was not alone.. I'm part of a much more bigger family and it's a family na di basta basta nakaka-pasok ang iba.. I was part of a clan, my clan. Laughing and sharing funny moments and stories.. there was this inner bond na strangers would surely not understand.. and I'm part of it!
And best of all.. this exclusivity has given me the right to demand on who I am going to make part of it! haha... it's his loss he didn't see me as someone he can spend his life with, and I know I got all the qualities a man would ever want for a wife, mother, and partner. It's his fault he's only too particular about the physical presence for he has let go of someone as me. nakz..
I'm not praying for bad things to happen to him.. I truly pray every night that he be blessed more and I don't wish for anything else but for him to have a very good life, even if I'm not part of it.
It's just siguro that, I'm tired of pouring my love to people who don't deserve that kind of love. I'm tired of hurting and pain. I'm tired of all the tiring effort of getting to know someone, letting that someone get into my life, falling inlove for that someone, then in the end letting go 'coz he found another.
My heart is definitely tired and I don't care anymore if I would have that someone in my life, I don't care anymore if I'm going to grow old alone. It doesn't matter to me anymore for maybe life isn't supposed to end the way I would want it to be. Nothing in life is perfect, and I have to realize that someday.. I got this fairy-tale thinking kasi that I would meet that someone and he would be with me till I grow old.. and I would never grow old alone and with no one to talk to (as what my fear in life is).. But I guess I would be alone after-all.. but who cares. There's nothing I can do about it.
Hay, kinda depressing ain't it? Well.. as a friend sent me sa txt..
Why are cupids
Baby Angels?
that is
to remind
us
that...
LOVE
NEVER
GROWS
OLD!
Why is
cupid's arrow
directed to
the heart?
that is
to remind
us
that....
TRUE LOVE HURTS!
It is not easy to find a love, but it's more difficult to lose a love. All day today, I was thinking of WHY?!.. went to a Harry Potter movie with my family but thoughts kept coming in my mind.. sa car pa lang I was blaming myself and even my brothers for what was happening to me (It's my fault I am far, it's my brother's fault kung di lang sana nila pinagpalit mga gf nila!, it's my grandfather's fault if he hadn't cheated!).. I'm so horrid, blaming others for the things that are happening to me. But then, I realized how good the Lord had been to me. As I was in the Thanksgiving celebration of my tito totoy, I realized I was not alone.. I'm part of a much more bigger family and it's a family na di basta basta nakaka-pasok ang iba.. I was part of a clan, my clan. Laughing and sharing funny moments and stories.. there was this inner bond na strangers would surely not understand.. and I'm part of it!
And best of all.. this exclusivity has given me the right to demand on who I am going to make part of it! haha... it's his loss he didn't see me as someone he can spend his life with, and I know I got all the qualities a man would ever want for a wife, mother, and partner. It's his fault he's only too particular about the physical presence for he has let go of someone as me. nakz..
I'm not praying for bad things to happen to him.. I truly pray every night that he be blessed more and I don't wish for anything else but for him to have a very good life, even if I'm not part of it.
It's just siguro that, I'm tired of pouring my love to people who don't deserve that kind of love. I'm tired of hurting and pain. I'm tired of all the tiring effort of getting to know someone, letting that someone get into my life, falling inlove for that someone, then in the end letting go 'coz he found another.
My heart is definitely tired and I don't care anymore if I would have that someone in my life, I don't care anymore if I'm going to grow old alone. It doesn't matter to me anymore for maybe life isn't supposed to end the way I would want it to be. Nothing in life is perfect, and I have to realize that someday.. I got this fairy-tale thinking kasi that I would meet that someone and he would be with me till I grow old.. and I would never grow old alone and with no one to talk to (as what my fear in life is).. But I guess I would be alone after-all.. but who cares. There's nothing I can do about it.
Hay, kinda depressing ain't it? Well.. as a friend sent me sa txt..
Why are cupids
Baby Angels?
that is
to remind
us
that...
LOVE
NEVER
GROWS
OLD!
Why is
cupid's arrow
directed to
the heart?
that is
to remind
us
that....
TRUE LOVE HURTS!
Comments
i came across ur page because i was searching for the Lolengs mountain resort web site and other info. however, i found none and i stumbled upon ur page with pictures of the resort. maybe u can help me. if it's alright with you...i'm looking for their contact number, do you know where they can be reached or their office. hearing from you. thanks!
Move on! Get busy! Don't allow your mind to wallow in self-pity. Join the gym! Get on a sensible diet. Take on a NEW sport! Aerobics, kickboxing, tennis, badminton. Try swimming, take a few lessons and be really good at it. Take up a NEW hobby. The point is: there's so much new exciting things for you to learn and do! And then become passionate about it and your outlook changes. Get busy! I remember a quote from grade school that our reverend principal drilled into us: "An idle mind is the devil's workshop". Think about it.
ur so right.. ill try that.. thanks for slapping reality to my senses. =)