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Leaving...

All my bags are packed, am ready to go.
Standing here outside the door.
Already I'm so lonesome I could die..

...Am leaving on a jetplane..

hahaha.. here I go again! off for out-of-town trips.. this time am goin to CDO.. ah it's nice to stretch once in a while.. am not really that fond of traveling.. am particularly a homebody but sometimes people truly need to get take their visions farther.. hehe..

haven't decided yet what to bring etc.. haven't packed my bags yet too.. but soon I'm goin to do that, ngayon am more of just lying around.

..... i got so much to say but can't say it.. what's wrong with me? hehe.. nawala na sense of creative writing ko.. plus i do more 'listening' now that talking.. :) maybe that's better.. hehe..

ah.. by the way.. i was just thinking.. i went to a wake last tuesday (sister of my tita sa img) and sa kwento pa nila, she was ready to go na daw.. she had made her last will and testament stating everything.. from what she's goin to wear till the assignments of her sisters, pamangkins, inlaws (like arranging things, what color of coffin, where to designate her money, insurances etc..) she has even made the programme for the ceremonies!... now i was just thinking.. she was ready to move on.. and i guess everyone was happy na she has rested na (49years old siya, single).. i was just thinking na, what if it's my time to go na bukas? hehe.. whew..

-----
for the record.. i had a very nice conversation with someone yesterday.. we were talking about 'taking chances' and it made me realize something.. Truly each person we meet helps us gain some lesson or maturity that molds us to what we may become in the future.. like for example, in the field of love (nakz eto na naman oh) it took me years (and i mean YEARS) to feel love outside my family.. it was like nobody truly gave me a chance to feel it (wawa but true).. all those years i was inclined to get more and more insecure (ah maybe not 'praning' insecure hehe) but those 'rejections' also made me whole (nakz) hehe.. it made me more attentive to someone who gave me attention.. it made me become more patient and understanding.. the last rejection made me think about just letting things be and accepting defeat.. and the current person (hehehe current) is giving me a lot of adjustments big time! but hey for all the years of rejection.. finally someone gave me a chance to be me.. :D and am happy.. :D hahaha.. yeah i still go praning once in a while but he's patient (nakz).. hehehe..

ah i know ul be reading this so il keep it light.. hehehe.. thank you for believing in me.. :)

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